The Start

“Do you ever think that maybe you were wrong about something?” I asked Molly.

“Of course. All the time,” she said, which took me aback. Molly always seemed so sure of all her decisions.

“Like what?” I asked. Then I decided it was time to be brave around Pregnant Molly, Biter Offer of Heads. “Like about Chris?” She nodded at me and said, “We’ve been talking, you know.”

“I didn’t know. No. Talking about what?”

“About how stubborn I am!” she laughed, but she was wiping a tear away from her eye at the same time. “I don’t want to raise this baby alone, Aust3n.” I nodded at her, and she continued. “But more than that, I don’t want to be without Chris. I just…you know, we have to work through this.”

“Why?” I asked her. “Isn’t it better to be alone than to be with the wrong person?” I was bouncing my own question off of her.

“Of course it is,” she said, then patted my knee. “Definitely.” She looked me right in the eye, and I think she was answering the question I hadn’t asked. “But Chris isn’t the wrong person.”

“But–” I failed to get out the words. If he was the right person, why weren’t they together.

“This thing between us isn’t easy. Just because we were in love, I thought it would solve my problems. I thought it would make me a new person. Lessy bossy, better hair, all that,” she said, and I smiled at her, understanding everything. “But it’s not easy. I’m just the same person madly in love with someone else.”

“Is he madly in love with you?”

“He said to me that he always would be. That kind of love, it never leaves you. No matter what.”

“No matter what?” I said, echoing her questions in my head. “Not even in dire circumstances?”

“I don’t think so.”

“But I want to be a different person, Mol. I don’t want to be the same me, but madly in love. I want to be better.”

“Then start,” she said. I smiled over at her, rubbed her belly because she hated that, and said, “You’re right. I am. Right now.”

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